Maintaining Friendships After Marriage
People often see friendships as something where you can easily end and start a new one.
By The LSV Team · April 20, 2025
People often see friendships as something where you can easily end and start a new one
My best friend got married last year and I honestly feel a great disconnect with her, like I lost a rhythm in the dance routine of our friendship, and I have not gotten it back. I love my friend and I am so happy that she found someone great to do life with, but that doesn't mean I'm not a bit sad that I won't have as much access to her as I usually do, because now, I have to factor in her husband and what marriage life needs from her before making any girlfriend demands.
In friendships, especially female friendships, conversations about how marriage can affect your relationships are greatly avoided. People often see friendships as something where you can easily end and start a new one. I've seen situations where the unmarried one might be called jealous, bitter, and a bad influence while the married friend might be tagged as a know-it-all who gives unsolicited advice and thinks she is now much more morally responsible. Whichever the case may be, I think it sometimes depends on a lack of adequate communication and emotional understanding for both parties for the abrupt end of great friendships due to one party getting married.
I understand that marriage is a big commitment and would it change my best friend and affect her life, yes! Of course, it would, and I plan to make the transition as easy as possible for her on my end, but I would not want to lose this friendship because she got married. I would still want to tell her about my life while understanding that there are boundaries to what she can tell me about her life now and a new set of rules to observe but being understanding doesn't mean it won't take some getting used to. As much as I have to be understanding and patient with her if she can not do things we used to do together and for each other while she was single but it wouldn't be fair if she doesn't understand that it would take some getting used to on my part and also know she needs to be understanding and patient with me too for this relationship to work if we value each other and the friendship.
I also have friendships where I feel this disconnect and my married friends were the ones letting me know I was changing towards them because they were now married, and they did not want our relationship to change that much. This is just to say that it isn't always black and white, and it can be all in your head sometimes unless you talk about your feelings and discuss them with your friend whom you consider important.
Friendships are a two-way street and the parties involved should be ready to make it work whether married-single/single-single/married-married. I believe girl friendships are worth it when you do the work that needs to be done cos I have the most amazing female friendships and I hope female friendships stop getting the bad rep it has now cos it doesn't deserve it. I wish a wholesome female friendship on everyone that makes you know it is worth it.