God, Next Year

By Ifejola · March 1, 2025

I went for an outing in March, and I could remember I prepared for every attack but completely forgot to prepare for the marriage attack, since it was sort of a family event. The grandma there looked at me, asked how I was and without taking the next breath asked when I was getting married and told me I shouldn't waste any more time. I, in turn, looked at her earnestly and told her "Next year Ma, by God's grace, next year".......

I have always been a person that strongly believes in marriage and love, but sometimes, you believe it for other people because a tiny voice whispers to you that love is not for you because of heartbreaks and other vibe killers. So, you make this tiny voice yours and make it louder and continue to reassure that doubt in you that marriage sometimes is a scam, and you don't need romantic love to survive. You continue to prove to yourself that love and marriage don't guarantee happiness and maybe you do not want it, but deep down, you know it is not true.

I have decided to strongly hold on to my truth that wanting a romantic relationship is not a sign of weakness. Do I want someone I want to cook for because it is my love language? Yes, I do. Do I want to stop lying to myself that a romantic relationship isn't all that compulsory and I don't really care if it comes or not? Yeah, I do. I love to love and I want to love and be loved in all ways available.

I want a great romantic relationship that would meet my standards and that of my partner. I want a partner, lover, best friend, cheerleader, teammate, admirer, helper, and every other beautiful thing a romantic partner is capable of becoming (and hope I am all these and more).

True love and marriage do not guarantee a happy life, but also nothing in this world guarantees you a happy life, but you take risks and hope for the best. Age doesn't guarantee us anything, but we celebrate birthdays hoping the new age bears good fruit. I would say, it is more convenient to cry in someone's arms and have them wipe your tears away than crying alone in your bed or on your couch and still getting up to go pick up tissues to blow your nose with. It is more convenient doing life with someone worthy of it. So maybe it's time I trust myself and God and believe I won't pick wrong.

"Yes, I'd love to settle down next year with someone that is my person..."

So, when I told that grandma that 2023 would be the year for me to settle down, I meant it not only as a way to get her off my back but also, I meant it as "Yes, I'd love to settle down next year with someone that is my person and we both constantly remind each other that we are worth the work we put in each day and the sacrifices we make for the relationship." I want to leave the bandwagon of "God, when?" people and join that of those who have found someone worth doing this life/love/best friend/marriage thing with.

I do not care if he finds me or I find him as long as we find each other, I am good. I don't want to listen to Adele's songs and relate, I'd rather listen to John Legend's love songs and Timi Dakolo and feel the emotion of every word and lyric vibrate through me because I and someone's son is doing this relationship thing leading to marriage properly. I want to do the corniest and most cliche of things people in love do.

I believe in my awesomeness, I believe in my capability to love wholesomely, my ability to unlearn, relearn and learn new things, so I'm taking that firm resolve and putting it into the belief that a great, healthy, and wholesome love story is waiting out there this year and all I have to do is go out and live it. So, if you see me strongly typing "Amen" under posts that say "If you believe 2023 is the year you will get married, type amen" please leave me and tag me on other posts with similar proclamations.

God, next year abeg because the style I chose for my engagement would soon go out of season and proper love songs are not being sung much anymore.