First Dates, How I Like It

By Ifejola · February 11, 2026

First dates are amazing, and I think the unnecessary debates about who pays on the first date, who plans, whether should you give transport fare and other ridiculous arguments are immature.

First dates are already too much of a nervous wreck to be adding other unnecessary piles of unrealistic and unfair expectations. If the plan is for you to enjoy yourself and your date's company, the mutual effort is needed from both parties.

I still remember the first date I went on years ago. It was with someone I genuinely liked. He came to get me after work, and we went to a restaurant close to my office. We made bants, asked each other questions and it was all in all a fun experience. Before going on this date, I remembered telling my friend the first time I met this guy that if he didn't ask me out and take me on a proper date, I wasn't going to date him. Going on a date before agreeing to date him was a very big requirement. I watched movies where the guy and girl usually go to a cinema and have a movie date. It didn't have to be fancy, I just wanted to feel what the ladies in those movies felt.

With dates after that, I've realized I need to be part of the planning as much as possible unless it is a surprise. I need to enjoy the activities for that day, and that means partaking in the decision-making process. The dates I enjoyed the most were the dates I told them about the activities I liked and we made plans according to similar interests. It showed that they were interested in getting to know me as a person and the things I liked which I believe makes the whole dating process easier. Getting to know each other doesn't have to start until the first date.

Also, most first-date ideas are other people's ideas, come up with your own ideas. People do not recommend going to movies for a first date, but as for me, a perfect first date starts at the cinema, that is if we both love movies. Doing something that feels natural and easy on the first date reduces my nervousness and anxiety for me. We both have a common interest and can have something to discuss and build other conversations on. The pressure of having to have something to discuss on a first date is taken away.

Leaving all the planning of how I am going to spend my time to someone and hoping he gets it right and I enjoy whatever activity he prepares seems a tad bit unrealistic and unfair to me, because he doesn't even know me like that, and it is too much pressure for him hoping I enjoy it.

Unless I am paying you or trust you to know you'll deliver, my time will not be used as a test to see if someone is worth dating.

As a lady, go out more and explore on your own so you know the activities you enjoy and those you do not. So when an innocent man asks you where would you like to hang out or what would you like to do on a first date, it doesn't sound like he is being unintentional or unserious. And first dates are mutual and equal chances for both parties to impress each other.

"As a lady, go out more and explore on your own so you know the activities you enjoy"